Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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