Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
