Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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