I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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