remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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