I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize