it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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