so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
