I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
