yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
