BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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