I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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