i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We need to rekindle our bromance
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
