So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
