I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
