so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
