worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
