in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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