you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize