saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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