Kareoke will never be a sober sport
After last night, I could never be a politician.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
