Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize