I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
