Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
