did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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