Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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