That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
