why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
