Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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