I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize