Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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