I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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