I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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