Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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