I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
