So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize