Where did you get a picture of my penis
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
