went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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