Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
