Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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