Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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