do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
