What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
