I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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