Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
