Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncรฉ, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
