Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
