Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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