My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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