How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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