my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
