I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
