and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
