this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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