I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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