Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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