is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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