I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
