didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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