I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize