There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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