It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
