Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
